Best Man Toast

"And then she forced your hand in marriage..."
This is not joke. This is an actual line out of a best man's toast at a wedding I have attended. (please insert the spectrum of uncomfortable giggles, gasps, and shocked looks as people heard this line and collectively thought to themselves "who gave this guy a microphone?")

Far too often, the nervousness and pressure of trying to be equal parts funny, insightful, thought provoking, sincere, and sweet can lead to a disastrous combination of words that come out sounding like the quote above. So, how does one write a winning best man toast? Below are some quick tips and guidelines to find the perfect cocktail of words for a winning speech.

  Quick Tips/Guidelines:

• Begin with the end in mind: what is the main point of your toast? Imagine yourself raising your glass and asking the whole room to join you... what are you asking them to raise their glass to? If you can't think of the answer to this question, your toast is doomed from the start. So before you even try to think of funny stories or clever antidotes, write down your main point. (examples: "lets raise our glasses and toast to a life full of laughter in the good times and the hard times.)
• Illustrate your main point: what was the main point you decided on above? Was it "laughter in the good time and the hard times?" Find stories of the groom when you and him laughed alot. Share that story and then anchor it by saying something about how He is the kind of guy that makes everyone laugh in good times and hard times. Your story should illustrate the main point, if it doesn't illustrate your main point... then save the story for a walk down memory lane latter on. (Trust me, if you are just trying to have a funny story, it will be neither funny nor relevant)
• A compliment goes farther than a joke: In a context where every single different kind of group you can imagine in the bride and groom's life is present, every single different kind of sense of humor is also present. Flattery goes much farther than humor, so er on the side of saying something that will generate the "awwwhhh" reaction vs. the "hahahahha" reaction. 
• Write it down word for word: Look, this is not a "I just felt like saying a toast" moment. This is a preplanned, prescheduled speech, and you need to do more than jot down bullet point notes on a napkin or iphone. Write it down, word for word. It will help you get a sense of flow and prevent you from getting too close to the "ramble zone". 
• PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE: say it out loud at least 3 times. This will help you hear yourself and that gives you a chance to get comfortable with the words you are saying and gives you a chance to edit. (We don't want to be the first ones to hear you give your speech. trust me. Say it to yourself or someone else first.)

Good luck best men of the world. Let's all raise our glasses to toast your years of friendship expressed in a single moment where the well crafted and thought through words coming out of your mouth will be well rewarded with a few tears from the bride and groom, some chuckles from the crowd, and an approving nod from the parents of the groom who are so glad you are in their son's life. Cheers!